Ever do something and then immediately realize it was a dumb thing to do? I hate that feeling. Like today, I was a courteous driver. I stopped and let someone out of a driveway. As soon as they were in front of me I saw the Dave Mattews Band bumper sticker. I immediately realized I should have just driven by slowly giving them the finger; but it was too late. That will definitely make me think twice next time.
Is it just me or is this guy's voice more offensive than Roseanne Barr's? Whenever I hear a song it makes me want to do a Nethack genocide on all creatures named "Matthews". Yes Dave, I'd like to squeeze your neck til your vocal chords pop and I can be guaranteed not to hear anything new from your candy-assed voice. Then I'd hunt down and destroy the millions of CDs your douche bag followers have purchased. Finally, I'd write a WORM to find and destroy any electronic copies of your (air quotes) music (air quotes).
The sad part is that it's not just chicks that buy his craptacular music. There are guys that have parted with cold hard cash to own his collection of vomit inducing melodies. Many of them are probably under the false impression that being a Dave Matthews fan will "get them in good" with the ladies. If you are a guy, and you own any Dave Matthews music, look up! There's a giant can of Milwaukee's Best descending on you as you read this.
I recognize my hostility, and self-awareness is a wonderful thing.
The worst is changing radio stations when his music comes on only to be cornered in your vehicle by all the non-country stations in town playing his music. Let's see Adult Contemporary, yep. Alternative, yep. Top 40, yep. Gospel...um...yep. Easy Listening, yep. Any station in town will play his crap and I don't know why! WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE HIS MUSIC?
Hey Dave, how about I crash into you with my fist?
But, for those who must get their DMB fix. Uncle Jimbo cannot deny. Here's a clip of Dave in concert.
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