Tom Mapother on Tom Mapother: Nut Job

Just when you think it can't get any more strange. This video gets released.

Uncle Jimbo's Random Thoughts on the video:
Tom, you are indeed one of the most mentally unstable people I have ever seen. How do I know? You're laugh. There are three categories of laughs:

1. Infectious - You can't help but laugh with them
2. Silly - You can't help but laugh at them
3. Mapother - You can't help but get creeped out

You, you crazy wanker, have you're own special category. Tell me how much money has it cost you to "earn" the right to call yourself a scientologist? "Create new and better realities" and "effectively change peoples live". Wow, that's inspiring. But I can think of only one way YOU could do that. STOP MAKING MOVIES!!!!

Best line: "I won't hesitate to put ethics in on someone else." [Note: No editorial comment needed]

"You're either on board, or your not on board." Yep, you nailed it, just two types of people. I'm just glad I don't even have a ticket to Kooksville, let along being on the departing train.

You mention a lot of stuff you scientologists can solve. But can you prevent freezer burn? Can you really cure Restless Leg Syndrome without the use of Mirapex? No? I didn't think so.

Watching the toothless gears of your brain turn makes you look like an uneducated dolt from Syracuse, New York.

Here's to hoping you someday meet a real live SP, and he/she does "it" (whatever "it" is) to you, to your face, to your spleen, and to your unborn children.

It Couldn't Happen To a Crazier Asshat

Thank God the American public has some semblance of a clue regarding this nutjob. I have no plans to see Reality Impossible III, but I can only guess how horrific it is. The only sequel less interesting is my book would be Pearl Harbor 2. Hell, I think I'd rather see an Affleck movie right now, at least he knows how to have a good time without a copy of Dionetics in his pocket and it's unlikely that hackhole Tim Robbins would be a co-star.

Note to Meyer, Bruckheimer, and Grey: I am specifically not going to see this movie because Thomas Cruise Mapother IV is in the film. Either you're looking for your next "audit" for free, or you simply can't let a former box-office star go (aren't you still checking Stallone for tread life?). And guess what, if on the outside chance and by God's design I do come back in another life I'm still not going to watch any of Tom Mapother's shitty films.

War of the Worlds was the last piece of crap I suffered through. Interestingly, I'm surprised the church let him make that film. It must be okay to kill martians because they don't have thatens.

Great quote on thatens from Hubbard himself:
"From some experiments conducted about fifteen or twenty years ago--a thetan weighed about 1.5 ounces! Who made these experiments? Well, a doctor made these experiments. He weighed people before and after death, retaining any mass. He weighed the person, bed and all, and he found that the weight dropped at the moment of death about 1.5 ounces and some of them 2 ounces. (Those were heavy thetans.)"
Hubbard, The Phoenix Lectures, p. 147. Bridge Publications, 1982 ISBN 08840040062

Note to Reader: If you didn't get some of the Scientology references in here, check out Wiki, it's got a lot of info on the church.

Oh and Mapother:

Media of the Week

When asked about his recent encounter on the red carpet, Tom Cruise simply responded, "It's not the first shot to the face I've taken and it won't be the last."

I always thought he said "bo-staff skills," but it is in fact "bow-hunting skills". Must be my male-donimated desire to memorize quotes from solid but not spectacular movies is on the fritz.