Uncle Jimbo Uses Stereotypes (GASP!)

Being hyper-opinionated often leaves me open to attack by those that feel I'm too quick to generalize or stereotype. Well, I'm sorry that you don't like the fact that old people are bad drivers, young woman are psychotic, guys are pigs, and all politicians are drunken sex hounds with the scruples of Charles Mason.

I simply observe the world around me and comment on what I see. The world is too complex a place to not categorize. Sure there are exception to every rule. But for every exception there are a hundred thousand examples of typical-ness.

Let's take Chytoria Graham as an example. It wasn't long ago that I was extolling the "virtues" of clueless parents who were stuffing their kids in car trunks. Well Chytoria here has raised the bar. This sick bitch used her own flesh and blood as a device to inflict physical harm on her "boyfriend".

Indulge me while I play profiler for a minute.

Chytoria Graham, raised (or born into) in a broken home where mom couldn't come up with a 6th girl name so she played Name that Baby with the Scrabble game. Chytoria, ended up on the streets for a few years in her early teens but was able to get herself "straightened out" with a night job at McDonalds, a place to stay with Bubba, and a muffin in the oven.

Chytoria has had more boyfriends than jobs, and she's very thankful that only four of them knocked her up (five times). Drugs are most likely involved and she probably weights under 100 pounds. Welfare has been much easier than making fries, and the addition of baby number five means a sweet little increase in the monthly check. She's a middle rung in the ladder of domestic violence, and this isn't the first time she's abused her children. Seen more as a burden, despite the monthly check, she dehumanizes them and the Circle of Losers begins all over again.

Some reading this might be disgusted by my profiling. To you I say, "wake up." THIS is life in America in the 21st century. Others might say that it's easy for me to be critical, I haven't lived that kind of life. To you I say STFU. There is nothing, in this universe, that could happen to me that would make me pick up a child (let alone my own) and wield it like Conan the F'ing Barbarian wields his enormous sword. The lack of respect for human life disgusts me. But Uncle Jimbo, you're not respecting Chytoria. I respect all people's right to breath, right up until they do something that proves they don't share this same basic moral code. Then all bets are off. In fact, Erie, PA isn't that far away from Uncle Jimbo. I should pay Miss Graham a visit. I'll pick her up, take her down to the local park and hit some batting practice using her as my bat.

This behavior will NOT stop until we take a serious look at the entitlement programs in America and fix them so that they encourage fewer children, provide work for welfare programs, and generally make it simplier to break the cycle. People are lazy, selfish pricks. If they can get free money they'll do it, if they can't they'll probably just steal something. But we should do everything in our power to give them that choice.

When Business Meets Technology

Normally I don't get comment on technology news, because honestly, it's pretty boring. Uncle Jimbo used to be a technologist, now I'm just an uninspired blogger with a fantasy football team that plays like the Steelers. However this story is particularly ironic (which we all know is a monkey and bottle of hot sauce away from being sarcasm.)

It sure can get ugly when changes to technology make it look like Lo Pan got busy on your business plan. It can also make strange bedfellows. Case in Point: Symantec and McAfee.

So let's see, they're getting all pissed because Microsoft has closed the last (sic) "huge" security hole in their operating system thus eliminating the need for their products. Now it's not beyond the Kingdom of Gates to try and screw every other software manufacturer out there. But let's be serious, this one actually makes sense.

The best part of this article is the quote from a "Symantec spokesman". And I quote: "[Microsoft] is putting the core of the operating system in a lock box." Wait, didn't you just...um...I mean, that's a good thing right? Or are you trying to say it's bad? 'Cause from a consumer perspective it's good. But I can understand why it's bad for you. Good for consumers, bad for business. Ah, I see your dilemma.

Seriously though, isn't a more secure kernel a good thing? I mean, roshambo me and call me Kenny but isn't a lock box more secure? Keeps everyone from screwing with your kernel. Or is this some sort of (virtual) deep-fried lock box that could be easily eaten through by the likes of a Michael Moore worm? I know I don't want anyone messing with my kernel. You can leave it right where it is...untouched.

Man technology makes me almost as sick politics. Almost.

Screw the Fences

Hey, some local fishermen found a 130 pound crocodile in the Rio Grande. Seriously, how did we not think of this sooner. Grab some endangered alligators from the Everglades and introduce them in the Rio Grande. Sure, it could have an adverse affect on the eco-system, but a healthy population of gators would cut down on illegal northbound swimmers and tubers.

This idea has Nobel Peace Prize for Brilliance written all over it.

Oh Youth of America, Do Us Proud!

I had a friend the other day ask me about portable data backup devices. He had some basic questions and, in classic Uncle Jimbo fashion, I answered them as sarcastically as possible. Of course he was claiming he had lots of "client" photos he needed to backup....but I knew he just needed to be able to take his porn collection with him.

Part of my sarcasm was based on the fact that I assume a basic level of technical understanding from anyone under age 50. Obviously when you get into computers, the speed at which things change makes it hard for non-techies to keep up, so my sarcasm was probably a little excessive. However, these two geniuses are about as dumb as they come. How anyone thinks they can make a prank call these days (especially to 911) without getting caught is just plain funny.

My suggestion for sentencing these two? I propose a live brain donate. We'll take both brains, and put them in a robot. We'll have the first robot that can sit in a corner, suck it's thumb, and piss hydraulic fluid all over the floor. Which might make the robot a larger contributor to society than either of the "pranksters".

This posting brought to you by the PASATF (People Against Stupidity And The French) and a Wikipedia, "it may not always be accurate, but at least you got an answer."