The Well Must Be Dry

In an odd turn of events, the church (sic) Of scientology is now the proud parent of a freshly painted Ford Taurus...with racing decals. It seems that they've subverted...er...converted all the celebrities they can so they have set their sights on a new target. And who better to confuse with nonsensical babble? The NASCAR crowd; the second gem in the triple crown of stupidity.

My question is, this can only mean that the NASCAR virus has taken a foothold in the affluent areas of America. I mean, other than money, why would the cOs be trying to recruit beer swilling rednecks? I guess it's possible that they're looking to add some muscle to their organization given that most of their current members are spineless, sissified, nancy-boys who probably need stand-ins for their personal sex lives.

And what, you ask, is the third gem in the triple crown?

"Mr. Kennedy and Ms. Clinton, could I take a few minutes of your time to discuss your past lives and thetan levels?"