And the PC Beat Goes On

Just when you thought the only retarded thing to come out of Virginia was...um...everyone. It turns out that's true. The politically correct state senate found it necessary to ban the term "retarded".

What the article failed to mention is that the majority of the senator's stationary, name tags, and security badges will also have to be updated.

FACT: Mental retardation affects all levels of government. Changing the name won't change the fact.

Mathematical Proof for the Ages

If Scientology = Religion then Training ≠ Education

At least according to this story. Two of the organizations I despise most make a pact, monies are exchanges, and they'd like everyone to just forget about it.

'Ms. Yingling said the training Scientologists can deduct is not the same as religious education. "The use of the word 'training' in Scientology is not analogous to education," she said. "It's just another way of advancing spiritually in Scientology."'

Ah, it's perfectly clear. So:

If Tom Mapother = Michael Jackson and IRS = Ass-covering Douche Bags and Scientology ≠ Shit Crazy Cult then Training = Spiritual Advancement and Average American Tax Payer = Prison Bitch Q.E.D.

So given that proof, my suggestion to all those Oval-worshipping NASCAR fans is to start deducting you 30 packs of Keystone Light because I know they are an integral component of your spiritual advancement.

What on earth are we doing in this country when some asshat can have his thetans measured tax-free, but parents can't deduct their children's education. WTF.

Google Problem?

It's pretty rare that Google fails me in my search for truth, justice, and all things not Wikipedia. But then this happens.

All I can say is....I knew it. I knew that bastard loved cheeze whiz.

The Patriots Got Beat

Surprisingly I've taken the lose in the Superbowl better than I expected. I could spend my time discussing the game, the way the Pats got out coached and out played. Oh, and they still only lost on a late touchdown. But I won't. I do however have two things I need to comment on regarding the Superbowl.

1. The officials didn't get in the way. Seriously, the NFL should find a way to clone Mike Carey. He's the best referee they have, and he manages his squad of official like Michael Moore managing a Big Boy Super Stack (I'm not even sure if Big Boy has something called a Super Stack on their menu, but I guarantee that one exists at the Big Boy frequented by Best Grip Mike.) The NFL already has an anti-trust exemption from the government, maybe they could swing a human cloning exemption as well. Nice job Mr. Carey. Thanks for not ruining the Superbowl.

2. To every fan, broadcaster, and blogger in the known universe that uses the phrase "New York Football Giants", shut the fuck up. They are the New York Giants. The adjective "Football" hasn't been needed since 1957. That's 50 freakin' years. If you say New York Giants, no one is going to think about baseball. Period. Do you also say the "St. Louis Baseball Cardinals"? No. I rest my case. So from now on, to avoid confusion, I'm going to call them the New Jersey Giants.

Congrats to the New Jersey Giants for a great post season run. Good game. (Even if Eli is a putz.)

PS. Greg Easterbrook, you are an egotistical hack, how ESPN publishes your dribble is beyond me. You're as coherent as Tommy Mapother on a six pack of Red Bull ("drugs are immoral....but that Red Bull tastes GREAT!"). What I can't figure out, is that you have such distain for the Patriots, yet you keep giving individual Patriot's players recognition. You're one wierd bird. In the end, I hope you run into Stephen Gostkowski on the street where he gives you a 50 yard kick to the junk.