Hide Your Sausage Canada!

This fat bastard just doesn't get it does he? Hey Mike, not only does Canada not care about your thoughts on their politics, even the reporter mocks you (note the use of the terms complained, moaned, and rotund liberal media jockey. Read between the lines for the last one.) I contacted the author and got the original copy from him prior to his liberal copy editor getting a hold of it. Here it is in it's entirety.

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Controversial, and largely unmissable, American documentary filmmaker Michael Moore bemoaned an apparent right turn by liberal northern neighbor Canada in its upcoming general election. Realizing that, through no fault of his waistline, he had lost visibility in the US, Moore jumped right into the interesting world of Canadian politics.

"Oh, Canada -- you're not really going to elect a Conservative majority on Monday, are you? That's a joke, right? I know you have a great sense of humor, ... but this is no longer funny," Moore complained in a commentary on his website. Interestingly, this last part was the general sense people had exiting his latest "documentary."

"First, you have the courage to stand against the war in Iraq -- and then you elect a prime minister who's for it. You declare gay people have equal rights -- and then you elect a man who says they don't," Moore moaned.

Conservatives led by Stephen Harper were ahead of Prime Minister Paul Martin's Liberals by a comfortable 10 to 12 points, polls showed Saturday, two days before Canadians go to the polls.
In "Bowling for Columbine," his documentary on gun violence in the United States, Moore heads north to Canada to flee the rise of conservatism on US soil. Once there he realized that, despite some socialist tendencies, you still have to pay for food in Canada.

"A man running the nation to the south of you is hoping you can lend him a hand by picking Stephen Harper, because he's a man who shares his world view. Do you want to help George Bush by turning Canada into his latest conquest?" Moore asked.

"Far be it from me, as an American, to suggest what you should do," he added. "I hope you don't feel this appeal of mine is too intrusive, but I just couldn't sit by, as your friend, and say nothing." It is interesting that Mr. Moore refers to Canada as his friend, given that most Hollywood insiders currently believe Moore is sleeping with Greenland, an on-again, off-again love interest of Canada.

When asked about Moore's comments and current companion, Canada simply stated, "That hoser should keep his Molson muscle on his side of the border, Eh? Next thing you know that shit disturber will be drinkin' my forty pounder and puttin' Timmie Ho's out of business. He should just go back to Hollywood and make puppies. As for my Greenie, she's just a dumb puck, I'll find a new one. Go Habs!"*

Hide your sausage Canada, hide it right in Michael Moores ear.

*Canadian translations can be found here