Pet Peeve #26: People with Walking Disabilities

No, I'm not talking about traditional physically-disabled people. I'm talking about those people that you watch walk and are pretty sure their parents are a rung or two below you on the evolutionary ladder.

First we have the people who can't pick up their feet when they walk. They do this feet shuffling thing that sounds the Frankenstein monster on a three-day bender. Please…lift your foot, step forward, and put your foot on the ground. Repeat with the opposite foot. Stop dragging your feet like a woman invited into the Colonel's house.

Then there are those people that wear noisy clothes or shoes. Whether it's the swish, swish of nylon pants or the clomp, clomp of non-practical shoes. Nothing drives Uncle Jimbo closer to referring to himself in the third-person and a career in ballistic healing than obnoxious repetitive noises. Fashion should not be noisy!

And finally, we have the people that, when passed in the hall or on the street, refuse to make eye contact or respond to a non-hostile, sometimes even pleasant, greeting. Now rumor has it that the only way to not get shot in NYC is to avoid eye contact. I can respect that. There are enough nut jobs down there that I wouldn’t want to talk to them either. But I live in…..Ah, screw it. I hate people…keep on ignoring me. I’ll be over here admiring my huge collection of slightly used clogs and parachute pants.