"Click It or Stick a Guard Rail In Your Skull"

Why do governments feel the need to protect citizens from their own stupidity? Take this article for instance. I don't even have to read beyond the sub-title. People who don't wear their seat belts should get everything they deserve, free steel head-gear and all. $31 million to monitor if gifted red-neck pickup drivers are wearing their seat belts on the back roads of Tennessee.

Other than the obvious insurance and health-care impacts of keeping seriously injured but, unfortunately, not mortally wounded seat-belt free accident victims alive, what possible benefit do programs such as "Click It or Ticket" have? However, even that impact will be short-lived as most people that are dead or in a vegetative state are unable to reproduce. To wear or not wear a seat belt? Here's a great personal liberty that the government shouldn't be getting involved in. If someone finds seat belts bothersome and uncomfortable, then please, please let them drive without them. They aren't putting anyone but themselves in danger. Other than the on-scene clean up crew, I don't think anyone but the seat-belt free idiot loses.

People wonder why the world isn't advancing fast enough. Why do we still have people that are poor, hungry, and homeless? Because we continually thwart the basic principles of nature: such as survival of the fittest. Instead of attempting to solve the right problems, we tackle the easy ones. We create ridiculous laws, and then have special programs to create awareness and "enforce" compliance.

Uncle Jimbo has a few ideas regarding more appropriate programs for our tax dollars. Let's focus on creating awareness and enforcement programs like these:

Crack It and Whack It: This one is very basic. Find the mothers giving birth to crack-addicted babies, and whack the $hit out of them. Making sure in the process that she fully understands she can either have the drugs, or the baby, but not both. the name of the program can be adjusted to meet the needs of other types of drugs.

Code It or Explode It: Find and destroy all the software development houses that create crappy software. Nothing is holding back technology more than a bunch of useless hacks creating uninspired, unusable, productivity killing software. If this was a federal program, Microsoft would have been repeatedly fire-bombed and the two most heinous software words in my daily life might not be relevant anymore: Lotus Notes.

Act or STFU: This is a California specific program that rounds up celebrities, in the wild, attempting to make statements in the areas of politics, religion, or any other meaningful area of interest. NO ONE WITH AN IQ OVER 110 CARES WHAT YOU THINK. STFU. Officers will be equipped with a trunk full of second hand socks to handle the completely unruly crowd like Best Grip Mike and Tommy Mapother.

Hang It or Bang It: My personal favorite. Laws would be created that would provide the common man (or woman) the ability to stop a moving vehicle whose driver is on a cell phone, extract them from the vehicle, and violate their person in any way that seems appropriate, ideally with the cell phone in question. Phonebang 'em til it hurts. Just make sure it's not set to vibrate, some of them might like it.

If you see a violation of the laws of nature, an act of a government or private organization providing stupid people the opportunity to escape the grasp of natural selection, please report it. It's the only way the rest of us aren't going to be bred out of existence.