Fun with Human Resources

And now it's time for another episode of Fun with Human Resources. In today's episode we'll cover a fun game we call the Golden Pole Award.

Now if you're a tree hugging, Saab driving, hot dog abusing, crappy documentary making, politically corrected, gerbal hole then you may want to draw a Community Chest card. Go to HR, go directly to HR. Do not pass your sense of humor. Do not collect a good laugh.

Now that we've got those gerbal holes chasing their tails I'll give you the scope. The Golden Pole Award goes to the person or persons who, unintentionally, made the most sexually suggestive comments over the past week. Like the Oscars, nominations alone are something to be proud of, but actually being able slap that beautifully shaped pole on your desk is a magical feeling.

There are no hard, fast rules on nominations or the determination of the weekly winner. Sometimes the comments are so good that we forego the nominations and simply give the little pole to the winner.

In case you're having a hard time grasping the pole, here are a couple of past winners.

[While discussing the testing of a new software version....]"Why don't you let me play with it because I don't play with it everyday like you do."

or

[While discussing a flight to New York city via Ithaca, NY...]"I don't know why we stop there. No one ever gets off in Ithaca."

Again, these comments have to be made during the course of normal conversation. Once your Award program becomes wildly successful you might want to keep your BS detector up. People will try to "steal" the award with planned material. There are bastards everywhere.

Anyway, have fun, enjoy the pole. I think I'll head home, maybe my wife wants hot sausage for dinner.