Level 3

Continued from Level 2.

If you ever find yourself at level 3, and my guess is that you will get there at some point, you'll be filled with two things I hate; good intentions and hopefulness. Most likely you've passed through Level 2 so you'll know when you get there. Gone will be the days of being pissed off by the stupidity around you. In it's place is the desire to set things right, to fix those things you feel are within your power to fix. No angry confrontation, just simple matter-of-fact determination. I will make my work environment better.

Forget it. Run. Run like Pacman from Pinky; like Ted Kennedy from the bridge; like Trinity from an agent; like a cow from Michael Moore. Level 3 is the most painful and frustrating of all the levels. Problem is, you won't know it until you reach level 4 (unless of course you sit down, shutup and starting listening to my advice). For me, level 3 lasted for several years. That's years of eye rolling and sarcastic reactions wasted. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Level 3 is like a bad relationship. You see the problems, and you think you can fix them.

At a party you catch your girlfriend kissing her best-friend's boyfriend in the bathroom. No problem, we can work through it. No...no you can't. Your girlfriend is a lush and a psycho-hose-beast. You can't fix it and the sooner you get out the better. Damn, glad that never happened to me. That would suck. What would suck more? How about two years later finding that same girlfriend coming home with another guy while you wait in her dorm ready to surprise her. Not sure who had the bigger surprise you, your girlfriend, or the other guy. Oops. Guess that didn't get fixed. Did I tell you I'm seriously glad that never happened to me? When you're at level 3 work is that girlfriend, and she's a bitch. Crap will go wrong and you'll think you can fix it. You're wrong (man, it never gets old saying that).

Work related problems fall into two categories: 1) big brained problems, and B) little brained problems. Since management is completely and utterly incapable of wrapping their short strands of grey matter around them the big-brained problems almost never get solved. Because, we all know, only management can solve big-brained problems. There are so many little-brained problems that most of the time management gets overwhelmed and simply says, "F' it, I'll be over here kissing someone else's boyfriend." Before you know it you're treading water in wet jeans and a hoodie that says, "A slut will sleep with anyone. A bitch will sleep with anyone but you."

I considered relaying a specific Dilbert-esque example of how trying to fix the things you see wrong at work will only lead to frustration. Then I realized that, like an experienced parent withholding those few nuggets of advice from new parents because they should "experience it for themselves," I'm not going any further. In fact I've said too much already. Forget what I just said. Except the part about not trusting your drunkard girlfriend. That's always good advice.

Go out and turn your workplace upside down with improvements. Go for an A solution to each problem. Tell those who want to McGyver it to go screw, "Step aside, and let a professional thinker take a stab." Explain to them slowly and with as many monosyllabic words as possible that "elegant" solutions are usually characterized by simplicity. Then, for good measure and to avoid confusion, tell them to pound sand. Live by the motto, Furious Activity is No Substitute for Understanding. Enjoy level 3 as much as you can, because when it's over you'll be pissed.

Level 3: A strong desire to rectify issues and troubleshoot problems is a key component to a level 3 attitude. You consider hiccups at work to be challenges not problems. You effectively communicate to management the issues, potential resolutions, and your desire to help correct them. It's not uncommon for you to never hear another word on the subject. Towards the latter stages of level 3 you'll begin to feel frustration at the lack of effective change you've made but you will keep trying. You still talk about work with your spouse (or slutty girlfriend) but find that the discussions are filled with more and more complaining. Management seems to have their heads firmly up their asses. You begin to hate the fact your you want to make improvements but that doesn't make you stop. And then it happens. You finally see the forest and the trees. It's clear as day. You see all the problems and all the solutions at one time. Eureka! And then your email notification goes off, and you see the email from your boss regarding the update to the TPS report template. What was I just thinking about?

On to Level 4