Netflix is Cool, Vegans are Not!

"Did you find the movies you were looking for? Great. Oh, I see you have a late fee, the total with your movie and late fee is $3824.15. We could avoid this charge in the future, would you like to sign up for a no-late fee program? It's only $900 a year?"

Screw Blockbuster and all the pimply-faced morons that never seemed to be able to scan in the returns prior to their due date. Don't get me wrong. We had our fair share of late returns but there were many that we know were in the drop box on time. F' them. Blockbuster and their asinine late fees drove me sign up for Netflix and we've never looked back. We get new DVDs in a couple of days and we've always got something to watch. Even in the summer, when I expected that I might cancel the subscription, it's nice to have something around for those evenings that are either too hot or too wet to be outside. So props to Netflix and I hope they give it to Blockbuster. Right in the ear.

I was reading the letters to the editor of a local newspaper the other day and there's this woman (I say woman because my desire to generalize and stereo-type categories of people in order to flame them is important to me) that writes a letter regarding summer BBQ cookouts. You know the kind where an organization like the Rotary Club or American Legion hosts a cookout to raise money. Well this woman is writing to complain to these people, at large, that they don't serve food for vegans or vegetarians. She suggests adding BBQ tofu and Boca-burgers to the menu. She hypothesize that it would be good financially because vegetarians and vegans would come to the cookouts. Yeah, okay. What a dumb be'atch.

Generally I think she fails to see the bigger picture:

A) Most importantly, people really don't give a rat's ass about your self-imposed dietary constraints.
B) Cookouts are for getting together and having fun...vegans aren't fun.
C) There is a BBQ culture, it often involves charring dead animals, eating beans, drinking beer, and making fun of vegans. I just don't think you'd fit in.
D) Next thing you'll want is Perrier, cloth napkins, and dyke-only cookouts.
E) The rest of us don't want to see you eating your Boca-crappy Tofu patties.

(Now you're thinking, but Uncle Jimbo don't A and E contradict each other. Wow, very astute. Maybe I should clarify, we don't give a rats ass unless we're reminded of how annoying the vegans are. So go whine somewhere else I'm trying to enjoy my pulled pork.)

F) If you want a vegan-friendly BBQ, then HOST YOUR OWN. Stop telling other people how they should run their events. My guess is, in this great free-market economy, that if there was a market for it you'd see them. But you don't. So STFU.
G) If you're currently in a relationship with a man, you're probably not a vegan...if you get my meaning.

I had a manager that was a vegan, and a woman (gasp), and we got into it one day as she was spouting off about why we shouldn't be consuming animals and animal-based products. At one point she said, "Humans are the only mammal that drink milk after infancy."

Yeah, big deal we're the only ones that drive cars too. WE DO IT BECAUSE WE CAN!