The Poor: Problem Solved

Here is an interesting article with some good statistics on the situation of the poor in America. The most amazing quote is this one, "one of every three children—and seven of every 10 black children—are born outside marriage." What can this be attributed too? Stupidity of course. But not the one you think. I'm not talking about the stupid guys that act like R. Kelly or the stupid girls that can't find a way to keep their knees from springing apart. I'm talking about the stupidity of our government to think that social reform for the poor can be managed through food stamps, welfare, and other soft social programs with all the crutches in the world but no physical therapy. We can give them fish but we can’t seem to find a way to teach them to fish.

Since we’ve spent decades dealing with this problem without meaningful results I have decided that the government needs to take a different approach. We must begin a coordinated and well executed plan to “assist” our poor, both citizens and illegals, to see that their best opportunity for the American Dream can be found in Canada.

That’s right, we’ve go to get as many people moving north across our northern border as there are moving across our southern border, and then some. The Canadians, with their social systems, and vast natural resources are much better prepared to deal with these people than the tards running our government.

What better time to start than with the evacuation of the gulf coast from hurricane Rita. Let’s start IDing those people who fall below our poverty level, put them on buses and haul their asses to Minnesota. There we can give them border crossing packs with a small caliber hunting rifle, snow shoes, a copy of Hockey for Dummies, an English to French dictionary (just in case), a CD of Bryan Adams’ Greatest Hits, and a map with all the major landmarks identified like the Labatt’s Brewery. Then we point north, smack ‘em on the ass, and send them on their way.

Once we’ve cleared out southern Texas we can move on to other areas of the country, like Southern California. There we need to make sure we’re not looking at income only, but also living expenses. Dumb asses like Michael Jackson and Mike Tyson who have made millions and squandered it all should be put on buses too, but not with little kids. Maybe those two should just have a bus all to themselves. See I figure with a little creative accounting, I can get rid of most anyone I want, like that fat pig Best Grip Mike. I figure he’s made several million on his stupid “documentaries” like Fahrenheit 165: The perfect Internal Temperature of Hot Dogs. Dude’s got to eat at least a $100,000 a month in food. There’s no way his bottom line can be above $19,000. “On the bus Mike, before I take that Twinkie away from you.”

Problem Solved. Damn I’m so freaking smart. This took me, maybe, 10 minutes to figure out. Anybody else got a problem they want help with?