Andy Rooney Must Die

How the hell is this guy still on a credible morally-questionable, liberally-biased, trash news program like 60 Minutes [But at least they're not covering the Ben and JLo, Brad and Angelina stories like most of the other "news programs"]. The guy is as senile as Harry Carrey in the later years. You know, the Harry Carrey that would say things like, “Derrick May’s name spelled backwards is Yam.” Thanks Harry, here’s your cookie.

Last night Rooney starts his rant off by reminiscing about how, when he was a youngster, you’d see lots of Chevrolets, Buicks, and Packards on the roads. Now every American auto manufacturer has too many models to remember. He then goes on to talk about how American car quality isn’t good any more and, here’s the best part, it’s because they’re spending too much time figuring out new model names. He then raves about Japanese cars and says how great the Toyota cars are and that he owns one.

My wife and I sat there staring at the television like we just watched a Superbowl halftime show where some ancient band teams up with a couple of talent-less pop stars to create a musical abomination only a network executive could love.

Hey Rooney, I’m going to go out on a limb here but my guess is that when a manager at GM asks one of this automotive engineers what he did that week the response isn’t, “Well I was on the CAD system for about 4 hours and worked with the clay model in the wind tunnel for about 8, but the rest of the time I was thinking about the name for this new model.” Hellooo, they have retarded marketing people to come up with the names. Their quality sucks because they’re incompetent, not because everyone at Ford is thinking about new names.

Apparently what the US auto industry is lacking is what the Japanese have figured out. How to come up with cool names and still build a quality car? Hey, Andy, it’s a kind of magic. Look I just pulled this bladder control device out of your hairy ear. Presto. Thanks for uncovering that mystery. Next week, try a story on the negative effects of eating fast food and why it’s because the seats in McDonald’s are uncomfortable. Dumbass.