Level 1

A continuation of The Five Levels.

So there you are sitting in a cube, or office, or wherever you are required to stand, sit or lie down to complete the tasks given to you by your employer. You think back just a few weeks to the interview you had. Damn were those some stupid questions. They've got no idea if I can do this job or not. [The interviewing process in America is very interesting. Interviewers aren't trying to find Mr. Right. They're simply trying to make sure they don't hire Mr. Wrong. Most questions are designed to trip people up and mark them as unworthy. People aren't looking for the right answers, they just want to make sure you don't answer it incorrectly. I call it negative interviewing and it happens everywhere. But, that's a topic for another blog.]

So there you are, first day on the job. You've got your mug and a blank stare. If you're lucky you got a tour of the building. Maybe even a bagel. And, if you're really, really lucky...some form of new employee orientation. But it's like your first day of high school. Everything seems larger than life and no one will talk to you. Well, some will but only because they're being paid. You're given some reading material, and a couple of menial tasks. It'll be a couple of weeks...days...hell it's the 21st century, you'll get a couple of hours before you get thrown to the wolves. But you don't care. You look down and the grass is green. I mean really green, like....um...grass (damn, I almost slipped up and used a golf reference...I hate golf).

You look around and everything sparkles. It's new. It's amazing. You think back and realize how much you don't miss that crap job you left for this cushy number. You think about how much you wanted to flip-off your old boss and tell him where he can stuff his TPS reports. But everyone told you, "Don't do it...you don't want to 'burn any bridges'."...air quotes and all. Damn that guy annoyed me. But I don't have to deal with him anymore. You push your chair back, lock your fingers, and wrap your hands around your head. This is a damn fine job. After a five minute day dream about fire bombing your old place of employment you get back to reading the company policies and procedures, Chapter 5: Procurement. Why the hell can't they just call it Purchasing Crap You Need to Do Your Job. Can't wait for my first project so I can show 'em some skills. Life is good.

Day 1 ends and you pack up to leave. You realize you really didn't get much done, but you did see an attractive woman walking back and forth to the printer so the day wasn't a complete waste. You tell everyone you see what a kick ass new job you have and how, once you get settled in, you'll see if there are any opening for them. The guy at the 7-Eleven seems skeptical. You play cards with your friends. You tell them about "printer girl". "What's her name?" one of them asks. Shut up dude, it was only the first day. They remind you about your last girlfriend. Even the mentioning of her name doesn't bring you down. One of them asks if he can ask her out since you're done with her. When you don't leap across the table to throttle him your friends look at each other, utterly amazed. Just days before you'd have been on him like Michael Moore on cheese fries. Things are looking up. You win $30. You sleep like a baby.

After the first week you've got your first project and things are going great. It's exciting and interesting work. Your co-workers have new, fresh perspectives. You find you're spending less and less time day dreaming about fire bombing your old place of employment. You've struck up you first conversation with "printer girl", and you didn't strike out. She even likes sports. You pinch yourself (after she's left of course) just to make sure this isn't like that Alyssa Milano dream you had a couple of weeks back. Nope this is real. Damn! You realize you forget to ask "printer girl" her name. It's the first thing that's gone wrong in days. But you're not worried. Things are falling into place.

You finish your first project. By company standards it's successful. You and your team get rave reviews and kudos (whatever the hell they are) from all over the company. As you bask in the glow of your own accomplishments...you smile...realizing that this place, this building, these people give you a feeling on contentment. Nothing can piss on your parade. Life is good.

And then somehow, without warning (like Ewoks from the forest),you reach level 2.

Level 1: The feeling in which the job you have is the best job you could ask for and that you are perfectly suited to fulfill the responsibilities it requires of you. The work you do seems meaningful and you are accepted and appreciated by your peers and management. You are unaware of any negative issues. You feel the pay and benefits are excellent. Life is good.

On to Level 2