PSA: Take Back Our Country

I'm only going to talk about this once.

We, as the citizens of this country, have a responsibility to ensure that we don't flush it down the toilet for our children. Well guess what, the tank has already started to empty. We each have to do our part, and it starts today. There are probably dozens of things we can do to improve the quality of life for ourselves, those around us, and future generations, but I'm going to focus on one of them today.

Please, stop giving a rat's ass about anyone you might categorize as a "celebrity." Enough is enough. I didn't care about Ben and JHo. I don't care about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. I don't care about their personal lives or their political views. I don't care who or what they worship or how they lost 15 pounds. And you shouldn't either.

So the next time you see a news (sic!) link with a headline of "Is Britney expecting a girl?", or "Is Eminem poking fun at Olsen twins?" STOP. Do not click the link. Ask yourself, "Is knowing the answer to this asinine question going to make me a better person?" If you answer yes, then get the hell out of my blog, you're an sad, sad person. If you answered no we may still have hope.

Then of course we have all these "personalities" who feel it's their right/responsibility/higher calling/job to educate the rest of us on what's morally right and wrong and what needs to be changed either on a national or international scale. Michael Moore...bite me (on second thought don't; it looks like you've bitten enough people all ready). I don't care what you think. Chuck Heston, take your rifles and shove them up you arse. Actually, Michael...
Chuck... I believe you've met already. Michael take a bit out of Chuck (It's soylent green!). Chuck show Michael the business end of your rifle. We'll all be better off for that celebrity death match.

Can someone please explain to me the desire of the average American to know what movie stars, pro athletes, and musicians do and think. Now you might say, "But Uncle Jimbo, just yesterday you posted a link to a blog by Ronald Moore. Are you playing favorites?" And I would response, "Wow, that was almost a good point, expect for the fact that the blog you're referring to is all about Ron's job (e.g. Battlestar Galactica). Now shut up and keep reading."

It's not that they don't have good and bad opinions like the rest of us. It's that they, and the media, feel that they are somehow more qualified to speak on the matter. As you can see, I'm not singling out conservatives or liberals, pop stars or talk show hosts. I'm also not saying they need to keep their opinions to themselves. I'm saying average-Joe American needs to stop caring about what happens to "America's royalty."

Repeat after me, I don't care:

• that Michael Jackson was found not guilty (mind you that's different than being found innocent)
• that Katie Holmes is considering a switch to Scientology
• what Kevin Bacon thinks about the Iraq situation, (I call that six degrees of not giving a s*@%.)

or even

• if Ben Affleck often rests his scrotum on Kevin Smith's neck (celebrity or not, people should know)

Put down the People magazine, avoid the Entertainment sections of your newspapers and web sites, and change the channel if some celebrity starts spouting off about something other than their latest movie. I promise you, not only will you feel less like you need a shower, but our children will thank you.